I don’t know why I am feeling so down of late- not sure if its a cyclical thing, or if its just the dreadful winter we’ve been having. I’ve been feeling a little more myself of late now that the sun has been rising and melting the snow, and I’ve been able to change from a sedate couch potato, to a more actively moving person. But also, I’ve been doing more things that make me content inside, which seems to help me get back up and get moving.
Last night, I wrote letters with my quills and ink in the Library. While the room is dimly lit, has dark green walls and dark mahogany stained bookcases, it is so warm and welcoming, that it soothed my soul and allowed me to feel very relaxed and at ease. The stress of the week just seemed to fade away, and I was able to relax and feel very soothed. I wrote 3 letters, listening to music and just writing. The greyhound just slept on her pillow on the floor, and suddenly my desire to reenact was back, and ideas for events and fun things to do going forward throughout the year began to assault my brain. I was suddenly happy and excited to be doing what I’m doing, and where I’m going. Its great. I don’t know if that means I need to spend lots of time hiding in the library to find my center and who I am again, but I’m definitely going to do a little bit of it, because it works.
I went to the psychiatrist yesterday, and I’m getting new meds, and am going to see a therapist again soon. I think this will be good to getting me back to where I need to be cognitively. I want to be awesome me again. Just need some help getting there, it seems.