I used to wake up early, greet the day with a smile and go for a run. I used to have my menus together, my time management down to an art form. I sent out letters, 5-6 a day to people all over the world. I kept the house semi clean. I did my dishes. I didn’t get takeout all the time.
Now, getting out of bed is a chore. Going to bed is a welcome comfort, even if I do have to take sleeping pills to get there. I want to hide from everyone and everything, except that I also want company, and I want to feel better. I want the person who is chipper and happy on the phone to her clients, to actually be chipper and happy. Because I’m not. I am miserable, and I hate myself.
I used to be awesome. What happened?
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